


Eternal Sun

by nature_moon_writer



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Canon Universe, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Love Triangles, Mild Smut, Post-Breaking Dawn, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27813310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nature_moon_writer/pseuds/nature_moon_writer
Summary: Renesmee hasn't seen Jacob in years when rogue vampires inadvertently chase her right back in his arms. A year later, Renesmee receives a letter from the Volturi requiring her presence among them for a year, so they can come to understand her better. The perspective of spending one year alone away from everything and everyone she's ever known doesn't enchant her, much to the contrary, but she will learn things she could have never dreamed of and will come to enjoy the company of certain italian vampires more than others.
Relationships: Alec/Renesmee Cullen, Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Aro & Renesmee Cullen, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Renesmee Cullen, Renesmee Cullen & Alec, Renesmee Cullen & Jane, Renesmee Cullen & Original Male Character(s), Seth Clearwater/Renesmee Cullen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> CONTEXT: 
> 
> It's been thirteen years since the almost-battle with the Volturis, and everything has been going for the better for the Cullens. They've never risked staying in the same place for so long, and their time in Forks is running out. However, before moving out, Renesmee is finally allowed a normal human life experience; after the summer, she will get two years before they move from Forks for a solid fifty years. Two last years before she has to let go of everything she's ever known, and she is intent on making every second count.

*** Renesmee's POV ***

It was weird, being out in the real world. It was half of Alice's idea -- she had predicted the evening would be spent with Bella's human friends in a bar in Seattle -- and so far, I had to say it wasn't half bad. At some point in the evening, it occurred to me the guys were having a good time on the other side of the bar, exchanging laughs and drinking beer. On our side, the girls were completely overthrown by how well my mom, Alice and Rosalie held their alcohol, completely clueless of their secret nature that made it so the only way to get them drunk might've been to have them drink down a drunken human. And even then, _might've_. It was a theory that wasn't going to be test by us or any of our immediate kin. Maybe someday I would have my answer, but for now I much preferred not to think about it.

"Alright, your turn, _Nessie_ ," Jessica, the cheekiest of my mom's human friends, said, putting an emphasis on my nickname I wasn't sure I wanted to understand. "What's up with you and lover boy over there?"

I choked on the water I was drinking and spat it out in the glass, probably looking like a dear caught by a car's highlight when dark had settled. It was definitely how I felt, looking up at her from my glass, unsure what kind of answer she was expecting.

"Alright, now you've got to spill it out," she insisted, seeming completely unware of the irony of her words. "No matter how good of a time he's been having over there, his eyes always find their way back to you."

"Jess -- you're okay with me calling you Jess, right?" I used the question to distract and destabilize her, but I couldn't quite tell whether it worked or not -- I wasn't quite familiar with dealing with humans that were this much under the influence of alcohol. Especially not her type of person, so greedy to be the best, to have all the nasty details. She was a typical shallow girl from books or television, it seemed, which had been strongly unnerving at some points in the evening. "Let me stop you right there. Jake and I, we're just friends. It will never go anywhere else than that; he's like a brother to me. Also, I strongly believe in sloppy seconds, and staying as far away as possible from them," I added, looking at my water, laced with my saliva. It was weird, how it seemed less enticing now, even though it was mine and there was nothing particular about it. I wished at this very moment I would've had something to drink, something to do, anything that wouldn't have seemed forced, to give me a certain front. It was true; my belief in sloppy seconds, especially knowing how much drama had risen from the love triangle my mom, dad and best friend had been in, was reinforced by just that fact. Albeit, sloppy seconds wasn't exactly the term I should've used; consolation prize would've been more exact. I didn't want to be that for anyone, especially not someone I was already going to lose to imprint someday. It would be hard enough losing my best friend, I had no reason to make it worse for myself. But all that put aside, I couldn't deny the feelings inside that were boiling to spill out in the world. I had done a wonderful job to ignore them for the last three years, but something had changed in the last few months -- I couldn't say what, but it was getting harder and harder to keep things PG between Jake and I. I was dying to make a move, and whenever I wasn't careful, I slipped out. Luckily for me, my best friend was completely oblivious, and no one was about to clue him in.

"Okay, two questions: who's sloppy seconds and why does it matter?"

I gave her a posed look, but I might as well haven't. I was half hoping someone would come to my rescue, but there was no real hope. My mom would definitely be interested in knowing what was going on in my head -- we never really talked about what was going on with me and Jacob. I had a feeling she was afraid of what I'd tell her. Rosalie definitely wouldn't approve of me and Jacob, even if apparently they were getting along incredibly well compared to before. Before _me_. It was weird to think that I was generally the reference point for "before" and "after". A lot had happened since my parents' honeymoon, also including my mom's transformation into a vampire and an almost battle with the Volturi, but it was always be that was referred to, never the honeymoon or her transformation. Well, it happened _sometimes_ , and it was generally the battle in those cases that was used, and only the conversation was extended to outside of our immediate family.

"He used to be crazy for Bella," I told her point blank, "and even if he isn't sloppy seconds, I'm not interested in being an easily forgotten consolation prize."

I then excused myself to go change my water. I could see from the corner of the eye Alice having a vision, but I didn't pay it much mind; she could tell me when I got back, if it was really that important. When I arrived at the bar, however, I realized I didn't need her to tell me what her vision was: I had stopped right next to Alec, who greeted me pleasantly.

"Hello, Renesmee, you've grown well, as expected." He took the time to look at me pointedly from head to toes and then back. "How have you been?"

"What do you want?" I asked him, tactlessly. Were people not alarmed by him, his red eyes and pale skin, the cold predator-killer vibe that came off of him by waves the instant you looked at him? "Why are you here?"

He seemed a tad surprised by said lack of tact, but didn't comment per say.

"Straight to business, I see," he pointed out. "I don't take it personally, don't worry," he added, pulling out a letter from inside his jacket. He was dressed weirdly well to blend in, I had to give him that.

"Is everything okay here, Ness?" Emmett asked, appearing by my side, Jasper placing himself behind Alec. A quick look at the two tables we occupied, I could see everyone was tensed and itching to jump to my rescue. But someone had to entertain and distract the humans, and appearances had to be kept.

"Mhm," I said, aware of how very little convincing that was. "What's this?" I added at Alec's intention, pointing the letter with my head.

"An invitation," he said politely, handing me over the envelope, my name in cursive on it.

I tried not to let myself betray any emotion, but I was aware that my face pinched at the realization. Nonetheless, I took the invitation without flinching, focusing my thoughts clearly on it so the message of what was happening could be passed to as many people as possible. There was no point in telling my father not to invade my privacy in this moment -- neither would I ask him to. Right now, his gift felt more like an extra layer of security than an intrusion.

_Renesmee Carlie Swan Cullen,_

_It is with pleasure and anticipation that I invite to come and pass_

_a year with us, so that we can get properly acquainted. Worry not,_

_all your needs and desires will looked after and satisfied for the_

_time of your stay. It is without question that your protection -- as_

_well as that of your family in Forks -- is assured._

_I am looking forward to really get to know you,_

_Aro_

It was brief and let not question as to what was expected of me -- and what would happen if I didn't comply. My look went from the letter, to Alec, to my uncles, to my father, to finish on my best friend, stopping less than a second on each person on my way to him, which was way more than enough. Alec showed no reaction and Jasper seemed worried, pensive, while Emmett was definitely ready to fight for me. I didn't need to read minds to know what my father was horrified I was actually considering to go through with this. 

But it was Jacob's look that was most important to me, as has been since longer than I could really tell. I could tell he didn't my hand on his cheek to know he understood the gist of the situation just by looking at me. His face was begging me not to do anything stupid, to stay safe and at home. To stay with him. My heart lingered to be by his side, every inch of my body ached for it, but I couldn't see how denying a direct request from the Volturi would go well. There had already almost been a war over me, could I bare to risk it again? This time, we wouldn't be spared, and from what I had heard from Alice's vision the first time around, it wouldn't be worth it. Looking at Jacob, however, I knew I would be the one being convinced into staying, and not the other way around, with my convincing everyone my going was for the best.


	2. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (Or Mentioned)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renesmee and Seth are interrupted mid-hunt by rogue vampires who want to impress the Volturi. As they are running away, the two of them get separated and Renesmee runs home to Forks without even realizing she's looking for Jacob -- or that he isn't and hasn't been there in years -- and continues her way south as the vampires gain more and more on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't start right in the middle of Renesmee going straight to the Volturis, as my "pilot" might've suggested. I was working on how I would get Renesmee in that situation -- and I finally found it! I hope you enjoy this nonetheless as much as I'll enjoy writing it down and sharing it with you! <3
> 
> Current context: 
> 
> Renesmee hasn't seen or heard from Jacob in five years since they've had a falling out and she moved away with her family -- and Seth --, leaving both Leah and Jacob behind. She's lived with her family just outside of Lynn Valley, North Vancouver, ever since, and things have been going great. All the "youngsters" (Emmett, Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Jasper, Bella, Renesmee & Seth) spent the final year of Secondary School at the closest school before going to different colleges or professional schools. For Seth and Renesmee, the last year of their four-years arts program just came to an end.

*** Renesmee's POV ***

"Renesmee, can I have a word before you go out?" 

My father's voice sounded concerned and disapproving, but even knowing what he wanted to talk to me about my good mood didn't even flinch. 

"I'll catch up with you in a second," I smiled at my favorite wolf, reassuring him that he could let me handle this one. I waited until his silhouette had disappeared behind the trees before letting my gaze wonder off away from where I knew he was waiting for me.

I turned around at my father, realizing once more how he hadn't changed at all in the last thirteen years. Yet, with Alice's expertise -- not to say obsession -- in fashion, he didn't look dated of a second. I couldn't help but wonder if some of his vampiric charm wasn't affecting the human part of me, but that I would never know.

"What game are you playing?" he asked me seriously.

Suddenly, I was just a little less sure I knew what he was talking about. It was a pretty vague question, and I had no intention of incriminating myself in something he didn't already know me to be guilty of. My uncertainty must have appeared on my face, because he went on :

"If you want Jacob to come back -- "

"How dare you?" I all but growled at my father, interrupting him before he could finish his sentence. "How dare you bring _him_ up? If he _wanted_ to come back, he would be here. You should know it better than anyone."

How he could bring up the one thing that could tear me to pieces was beyond me. He hadn't been spoken of in around two years, and it had been around three since my family had made the mistake of bringing up the man's name in my vicinity. I couldn't help the tears that rose to my eyes, barely able to keep them from running. A tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes, unable to look at the golden eyes staring at me, yet unable to look anywhere else. I took a deep breath, then another, trying in vain to swallow back the pain that was threatening to overwhelming me. I stumbled and found a friendly hand to help keep me steady.

The flow of calm that started fighting down the agonizing pain my father had made resurfaced informed me it was Jasper who had come to my rescue. He was the only one who could really help calm the pain, and I could feel how difficult it was for him. I had never dared ask him why it seemed so difficult, if it had ever happened to him before. I let go of the tears in my eyes, allowing my vision to clear up so that I could stare right into my father's eyes.

All of which had happened in maybe two seconds.

"Look, Ness -- _Renesmee_ ," he corrected himself. "I'm just saying I want you to be careful with Seth."

A bitter laugh escaped my lips, realizing I was right all along about what he wanted to talk to me about.

"Next time you want to disapprove of my frequentations, why don't you just lead with that?" I spat in his face coldly, opening my mind as much as I felt possible so he could properly understand the depth of what I was going to tell him. "You think Seth and I didn't already have that talk? Then think again ; we've already established that that goddamned idiot is in the middle of us -- _both ways_. And we've talked about the risks of Seth imprinting, too -- we've already talked about everything a thousand times, and we'll never stop talking about it. Jacob's an idiot, and we both have to live with the consequences of it. What we don't have to deal with, however, is anyone _adding_ to our mess. So it's less than ideal. What's it to you if we're making work, and we're happy?" My voice broke and I had to take a second to swallow. "I'm happy, Dad," I let out, barely louder than a whisper. "Seth makes me happy like I don't remember ever feeling before. And I know, it's less than ideal. So does Seth. But right now, it's working. When a bridge comes to be crossed, we'll see what happens next. But right now, there is no 'what happens next', only this right now." I took a deeper, calmer breath. I hadn't realized how much I had needed that until now, and I was really thankful to my uncle for helping me through it ; I was well aware I wouldn't have stood a chance without him. "Can you live with that, Dad? Can you let me have this, however long it lasts, and be there for me when I actually do need you?"

For a second, I was afraid that my last sentence would be the one to hurt him the most, but either because he read it in my mind or because he just had that fatherly superpower, he seemed to know I didn't mean anything mean by it.

"I had to be sure," he said in a soft voice that sounded almost apologetic. 

I gave him a small smile and offered myself up for a hug we both definitely needed. Sometimes, I wished he could be like my aunts and uncles : a friend, unless I needed a sister/brother or an aunt/uncle.

"I can work on that," he said, and I could feel him smile in my hair. "But what's so special about Carlisle that he gets to be your grandpa all the time?"

I chuckled at the tease and pulled away a little from my father's embrace to look at him.

"He's not constantly overprotective," I told him as if I was sharing a secret with him.

"Point taken," my father said, releasing me. "Now go off, before Seth worries You-Know-who so much he comes down here to your rescue."

I rolled my eyes at his joke, deciding to ignore all but the fact he made an Harry Potter pun. At first, he hadn't been very interested in the books, but I could tell my passion for them had started to grow on him. I turned to Jasper and gave him a hug as meaningful as I had given my father, grateful he had been there to keep us from going too far. I hated fighting with my family, it always felt bitter for days, but with Jasper around it never was quite as bad and I could never thank him enough for it.

I then left to follow Seth's footsteps into the woods, where I found a sandy colored fur looking at me with concerned in his eyes. To him to, I gave a big hug. 

"I'm alright," I said, my face buried in his furry neck. "Don't worry about me. I think this really needed to come out."

His big head pressed a little more against me before he took a step back. I jumped on his back and he ran off deeper into the woods and into the mountains, somewhere far from vampires and humans alike where we could freely hunt and be together.

Seth ran for hours, only ever stopping to swim across a river, which happened many times until he finally came to a stop in the middle of mountains. It was already dark out, and I had no idea where we were. I looked around, amazed at the view away from the city, giving Seth the opportunity to dress in privacy.

A sound of pure awkwardness came from Seth's direction and I immediately blushed at the sight of him. I barely glanced a second, my attention attracted by the sound, but my eyes had seen everything there was to see, and my brain was thoroughly going through every detail.

"I'm sorry!" I squeaked indignantly, a hand over my tightly shut eyes, trying not to think about how beautifully he had grown. This wasn't our first awkward moment, of course, but we had always found a way around it.

"No worries," Seth chuckled awkwardly, seeming relieved I was as troubled as he was. "At least I don't have to try and explain to you just why I can't put these back on."

"Put what back on?" I asked, shuffling in what I had seen to try and find clothes somewhere in the images, in vain. "What happened to your clothes?" I added, pained to admit I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Ah," he simply said, realizing why I was apologizing. "I meant this to be a fun surprise, but I forgot to think about -- what are you doing?" His voice pitched so high it was almost funny.

"After what just happened at home, we _are_ spending spending the weekend out like you planned," I said, undoing my pants.

I couldn't tell if the goosebumps that crawled on my skin were from a breeze or his intent staring at my back, but a few steps later he was standing behind me, holding my arms in place so I couldn't take another piece of clothing off.

"Don't," he said, his voice much more husky than it had been a few moments ago. I closed my eyes, waiting for a good reason not to, as I knew as much as him it was probably for the best if I listened to him. I could feel his heat crawling over my skin, and his scent was taking over me. There was something that changed in his aroma whenever he was aroused, something that made his blood just a little sweeter and much, much richer. I had tasted it a few times before, when we had had heated moments that had required we separate for a few hours to cool off before we crossed a line we weren't sure we actually wanted to cross.

"I'm still waiting for your reason," I whispered, my voice betraying me in the same way his had betrayed him.

"Because, I can spend my time as a wolf -- it will be just as fun," he argued, but he seemed to be trying to convince himself more than he was trying to reason with me.

I knew one of the reasons he didn't want to cross that line was Jacob ; out of respect for his best friend, although I never quite understood what it mattered since he had imprinted on someone else, breaking my heart in the process. But I had respected Seth's wishes so far, and I wasn't about to do any differently.

"Tell me it's the right thing to do," I whispered, repressing the part of me that feared he would.

"It is," he said, his voice seeming huskier.

I closed my eyes, grasping for any sense he wasn't overwhelming, finding nothing could come to my rescue. Worst even, it felt like the gap between us had thinned, and his grip on my arms was more soft than it was restrictive. I swallowed, trying to repress my vampire side that was hungry for his blood and trying even more to repress my human side that was hungry for something much, much worse. As much as I tried staying upright, I caved into him just enough for my back to brush against him. I held my breath at the contact, afraid of Seth's reaction, but he had already wrapped his arms around me.

"Ness," he warned me.

"Just a drop." The words escaped my mouth before I even realized what I was asking of him.

"I can't promise that I -- " He interrupted himself when I nodded my head. I was very well aware of the tip of his desire pressed against my back, just over the limit of my jeans. Just as I knew all too well he was going to warn me of how nearly impossible it was for him to keep himself in check at the moment.

"Tell me 'no'," I whispered. "And we'll forget any of this happened." I was greeted by a painfully long silence. " _Say it_."

"No!" he growled, the wolf in him showing as he held me tighter against him. There was nothing in the two-lettered word he just said that wanted to forget this moment, that wanted to stop. He couldn't have been more clearly inclined had he asked me point blank.

I turned around to hide in his embrace, hoping it would make it easier if I could just lose myself in him. I kept my mind from opening to him as much as I could, but we had practiced my ability so much together it was nearly impossible. He made a sound similar to a moan -- although I couldn't tell whether it was appreciative or plaintive -- as I felt my mental barrier fade to fully let him appreciate the reciprocity of what he was feeling. I could tell, because the more my mind opened to him, the more it meld with him. We had spent countless of hours in a mindscape or another over the last few years, and it seemed impossible now not to meet him there. And so, even if my face was still hidden in his chest, I felt the brush of his fingers on my cheek. I tried closing my eyes not to see him in my mind, but it was like trying to empty my head completely -- it was impossible, especially now. I felt his lips against mine and I had to plant my nails in his physical body not to flinch, to remind myself of the world around us. Even if it meant dangerously tempting the other half of me. 

The lines between reality and our mindscape blurred as he deepened our kiss and guided me to his neck all that the same time. And before I knew, I had fully given into him, having completely forgotten the rules had set to himself in respect for Jake, leaving neither of us to care about him as we consumed whatever it was we had grown to have.

I kept my eyes closed, appreciating the touch of the sun peaking through the clouds. It was already morning when we had fallen asleep, and Seth was still deep in it. In his defense, he had ran and swam us all the way here before, which left to say a lot about how long we had spent in each other's arms once we had gotten here. Careful not to wake him at first, I started letting my fingers trail on his skin. When Jacob had first left after telling me he had imprinted on someone, I thought I would never be able to be happy again. And even with Jasper's help, it seemed to me the only reason I did manage to start to live again with the pain was Seth, and I was more thankful to him than I could ever properly express.

A sound in the forest caught my attention, and I realized how hungry I was. I slipped out of Seth's embrace to go dress up and see if breakfast -- not to say supper -- hadn't just strolled right up to us. No amount of dusting myself had made me the slightest more clean, and I made a mental note to to find a lake or river to bathe in before getting home. A few meters into the forest, I came to a stop to fill my lungs with the fresh and pleasant air you couldn't quite find on the side of town. I realized then what I had heard wasn't a potential prey, but two deadly predators of my family's species. I had realized that vampires had this little _je-ne-sais-quoi_ that smelled different about them depending on whether they fed on humans or not, and the ones lurking were definitely not human friendly. I started whistling a Quileute lullaby Jacob used to sing to me to reassure me in the times the Volturis still scared me. An innocent tune that I took the habit of humming to calm myself down, and that I hoped now would alert Seth subtly. I wandered in the woods more or less aimlessly, keeping a safe but shrinking distance with the side of the clearing we had spent the night in, getting as close as possible to where Seth was sleeping as possible without seeming suspicious, always paying attention to my two stalkers. I stopped neat in my tracks and my whistling realizing I had lost track of one. That was the moment the vampire I was still aware of decided to make an appearance.

He was very pale, as was expected of a vampire, but it had this dead color to it that my parents didn't have -- going over and over my memories at the time, it had seemed to me that those who made less effort to fit in with the humans had less of live colors to their everything -- hair, skin, eyes. If I had to describe him in only a few words, I would have said a modern vampire wanna be, except the man in front of me looked like he had a few decades up his sleeve, which made for a very odd contrast. He had something of a crazed look about him as well that made me insecure. 

"Can I help you?" I asked with a confidence and calm I didn't feel.

"Well, I was looking for a snack before I went back on my hunt -- but then I found you, my bounty."

I frowned at the senselessness of his words for a second, until it clicked in my head.

"Why were you looking for me?" I asked again, having a feeling this would be an interrogation only one of us would enjoy, and I wouldn't be the lucky one.

"The Volturis want you," the vampire answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, starting to pace around me at human speed.

"I highly doubt that," I countered, trying to find the other vampire and Seth with my senses without getting caught.

"And why's that?" This time, his reply was snarky. I pretended not to realize he was slowly circling closer to me.

"Because the last time the Volturis wanted me, they brought everyone all the way here," I answered, making sure I sounded just arrogant enough to tick him off.

"Yes, and what good it did them, too! We're here to do what they couldn't."

"What do you want from the Volturi anyway?" This time, my question seemed to shock him, and he stopped about two steps in front of me.

"It doesn't matter," the second vampire growled from behind me. "You have to obey us now, or we'll do in your little -- how's it called? -- ah, yes, imprinter," he added, tightening his grip around Seth, his teeth close to him as a threat to his life. These vampires had no idea what they had gotten themselves into, it was clear to me now. The vampire's venom would be highly deadly for Seth, yes, but I knew that wasn't the threat the vampire was making. Neither of them knew anything about the Quileute wolves, and they couldn't have made a worst mistake than to walk up to us half informed.

"I'm sorry," Seth tried to apologize, but I didn't look in his direction once.

"It's fine, love," I said reassuringly. "If they know you imprinted on me, that also means they know if one of us dies, we both die."

"Bullshit!" the second vampire growled, ready to tear through Seth's throat, but the first vampire eased him into calming down.

"I can prove it," I argued, lifting my hand. "Surely you know my ability is contrary to Aro's -- with one touch, he can see all your memories, and I can show you all of mine." I moved my fingers invitingly at him.

"Everything?" the first vampire asked me, ignoring his companions cries not to trust me.

"From the crunchiest details of what we were doing merely a few hours ago to the bloodiest ones from when I was born," I acknowledged.

"Show me," the vampire ordered, taking the last step between us.

The rest happened very quickly : with my power, I charmed both vampires one after the other in a way similar to Zafrina's powers strongly enough to knock them out for a while and Seth and I fleed on his back as I was trying to figure out a plan of action, knowing it wouldn't be long before we were actually running away from our pursuers.

Seth came to an halt, realizing he hadn't run in the right direction when he was faced with the part of the river that gave on the state of Washington, in the States.

"This is perfect!" I told him. "I'll go through here and you can go find my Dad for help."

 _No!_ Seth's voice argued, connected to me through my hand on his wolf nose. _I won't leave you alone to be found by those bloodsuckers!_

"Your scent masks mine, by the time they catch up to you, they'll have to go along all the river to find out where we separated and it will give me enough time to swim away. Alice will find me, and we need my Dad to find out if any of what they said is true," I told him, pushing the feeling of emergency through my power.

His big eyes were looking deeply into mine to find the assurance I was showing to follow my lead. Without a word more, he nodded, rubbed himself against me -- both to carry my scent with him and mask mine with his -- and started running as fast as he could away from me in the direction of my father. I watched him disappear before looking at the challenge in front of me ; there must have been thirty kilometers of water I had to swim to before reaching the other side, but normally I should be capable of doing it. And I didn't really have the time to question my decision anymore, so I made my way as quickly as I could into the water, to hopefully be out of sight even for a vampire when they would pass through here.

Weirdly enough, the swim went well. Unsure of whether the vampires had done us, or if Seth was still alright, I didn't stop when I reached land ; I ran so fast it felt like I could race my father and have a chance at beating him. The trees were passing me by seamlessly, and soon enough I was passing through the Quileute reserve. A few young wolves I had never met before caught my scent and started chasing me, only motivating more to keep going. They were about as small as Seth in the beginning, if not smaller. Of course, as Seth had, they would grow into bigger wolves, but for now I would take their youth to my advantage and lose them.

I was finally gaining on them when Sam's wolf form appeared in front of me so suddenly I ran into him. We rolled for a second and the big black wolf ended up on top of me, immobilizing me with his paw. I could the adrenaline fade in favor of a feeling of safety, but I grabbed his nose, ignoring what his eyes were trying to tell me, to show him what had just happened in what it felt in the last instants. 

A dark brown wolf turned into Jared, probably to communicate to me what his alpha couldn't in his wolf form.

"We hear you, Nessie," he said seriously, trying to be soothing. "But we can protect you, you know we can and we have done it before."

I tried moving from under Sam's paw, but I was properly stuck.

"I'm sorry guys, I can't put you in danger like this," I said, before confusing Sam enough with my power that I could run free. It only took him a few seconds to get back, but as he was going to run after me, howls came from the same direction I had arrived. _Painful_ sounding ones.

It wasn't long until a wolf was running after me once more, but it wasn't a wolf that had Sam's smell on them, nor had I come across it's scent on the Quileute territory. The wolf jumped at me and I barely avoided it, finding myself in a clearing that gave onto an elementary school less than a mile away -- it was a huge clearing, and I made my way towards the middle of it as much as possible, thankful there were no kids out at this hour in case the wolf decided to come after me in the light of day. I looked at the sky and realized the sun would probably set in about an hour, and then I would have to find another option very quickly. 

I closed my eyes to concentrate on what I could hear -- I couldn't exactly go to the humans, as it would be less than helpful and put them in danger uselessly. But I could hear the water of the ocean parallelly to the school, and if I could make it there, normally this wolf should leave me alone. I looked at the trees where the wolf was waiting for me, teeth bared out ; they were big and solid enough for me to pass through them instead of on the ground. I took a deep breath, trying to get the adrenaline running in my veins again so I wouldn't feel painful human. My whole body was pounding with my heartbeats and I was covered in cold sweat that made my desperate breathing seem like it wasn't enough. Knowing I wouldn't find the power in me to make it a safe run, and I went for it on a moment of mild insanity. I only saw the second wolf waiting for me where I was aiming in the forest when it bit my ankle as I jumped in the closest tree. Luckily for both of us, it didn't get a good grip and fell from not too high, and I managed to climb high up the tree that the wolves couldn't reach me even if they jumped. I took a second to look at my bloodied ankle, envying the Quileute for their healing abilities. The wolves were less than happy to be grasping at nothing as they constantly jumped, trying to reach me jumping from the height of a tree to another. When I finally arrived close the body of water, I realized I was up to a cliff that looked a lot like the one near La Push, and didn't think twice : I jumped from the last tree with the momentum I had been building to leap over the few meters of grass there was before the cliff gave down to water meters lower. I passed the ground of a few meters and I closed my eyes rather than looking at the coming water.

I barely had the time to hear my name that I was persecuted further away from the cliff and it seemed like the water was getting closer much faster, but it didn't matter anymore. All the pain from losing Jake resurfaced and it felt as if I was already drowning. It felt as though he was falling with me, and I wondered if I was going to die -- or maybe I was already dead, and this was my transition to whatever came next. I opened my eyes to see those brown eyes I still knew by heart after all these years for staring into them so much when they still looked only at me. All that was left to do now was to see what came after death. Would we each have our own piece of paradise? Did mine include Jacob, was that why he was falling with me? What about Seth, would he be on the other side?

"What were you thinking?!" Jake's voice came to me, yelled over the deafening sound of falling and the waves hitting the cliff.

"Jake!?"

His voice suddenly made everything around us very real, and it occurred to me I was still very alive. But neither of those two realizations explained how he had ended up jumping off a cliff with me.

Everything only lasted a few seconds, and before either of us could add anything, we were swallowed by water.


	3. Into the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep into the sea, Renesmee experiences somewhat of a near death experience.

*** Renesmee's POV *** 

I opened my eyes to a world of blue, a kind of green/brown one, but a blue nonetheless. The water hurt my eyes at first, but they quickly adjusted. It seemed like everything was so immobile and peaceful from down here. I had never seen the ocean from such a calm and soothing point of view. I moved my hand in front of me, feeling the water moving as I did without feeling it's resistance. It seemed like time was a completely abstract concept that made no sense, as if it was going on forward without me and holding its breath waiting for me at the same time.

A firm grip surprised me, and I let go of the air I hadn't realized I was holding, taking a good swallow of salt water that properly burned my throat and nose. When the water reached my lungs, my reflex was to try and cough it out, which only made things worse. I pulled away from the man dragging me in the water, wanting only to break free and get away in the contrary direction of wherever it was he wanted to drag me to.

His grip, for the short instant it had lasted, had felt like I was craving for his touch all my life without knowing it. When I had first pulled, I didn't think I would be able to live without this feeling, but I had seriously underestimated the feeling of pain and emptiness that would come to drag myself away from my mysterious savior. But the bliss hadn't made way to the pain in its absence, it had just revealed what I knew to already be there under the beautiful lie I was craving for.

The man grabbed my arm right after losing his grip, taking advantage of what would result in my drowning if I wasn't efficient enough. This time, I used my feet to push the man away, propelling myself towards what felt like the right direction for some air, so that I could properly get the water out of my lungs and replace with some air rather than just more water. A few laps later I was out, gasping for air. But I barely had the time to cough some of the water out of my lungs that I caught sight of a wave closing in for my head and so held my breath, ready for impact. For what must've been a single second, I was disoriented, trying to hold my breath and find any form of stability. That second seemed to last forever. The second after, I found my way back to the air, coughing and gasping some more, my throat, my nose and my lungs on fire from the constant attacks of salt water. It seemed like I didn't even have a whole second before the water closed in on me again, swallowing me whole once more.

I was vaguely aware of someone pulling me in the water and forced my eyes to open. It took my eyes a few seconds to get used to the salt water, but I could vaguely remember it wasn't the first time I was doing so. Probably because there was something so pleasant in the scene of the sea taking me and making me hers. I tried pulling my arm free, but only ended up dragging the man holding my wrist closer to me.

_Jacob._

His face came close enough that there was no doubt it was him, and I almost lost my breath again. Luckily, I didn't, and I wasn't added more water in my lungs already trying to drown me. Jacob Black was pulling me into the unknown of unfriendly waters. Part of me was hoping that he was helping me, and maybe he was, but another part of me, stronger, didn't want anything to do with him. I yanked on my arm with more strength and did everything I could to set myself free from his grasp. He tried stabilizing me in his arms and for an overwhelming second it felt like he was giving me a hug we had both needed in forever. I tried struggling out of it without much conviction. One of us would have to get some air eventually, and that would be when one of us would lose to the will of the other.

Before I knew what hit me, his lips were on mine, stealing from me what I had so long hoped he would just give to me, telling me everything would be fine. Telling me I was the only one. And suddenly, the ocean was peaceful again. It felt like time and water suspended around us and the ocean wasn't throwing us in every direction anymore from our struggling, perhaps because we weren't struggling anymore, other than to get closer to one another. It felt like I was melting into him, as if everything that had been wrong in my life suddenly fell into place and was ready to work again. It felt like we stayed like this forever, exchanging this forbidden kiss, when I bit his lip. For good measure, in case the shock made him choke on water, I propelled him towards the top of the ocean so he could get some air, propelling myself to the bottom of it doing so. I had wanted that kiss to be my first, those lips to be my only ones, but they weren't and they never would be. There was another wolf out there with whom I shared a relationship that I didn't intend on letting down.

When my back first hit the ground, it levitated over it for a second and I looked in myself for the strength to swim back to the surface and find the sandy colored wolf to tell him I was fine and he didn't have to worry. But instead of being greeted by those brown eyes, human or wolf, all the surface had to offer me was the same silhouette swimming back for me once more, and I found I didn't have the strength in me to fight anymore. The burning sensation of salt water overtaking me was like a promise that once I would close my eyes, I would be the done with the fighting and the pain. So when the silhouette was about to take a hold of me again, I closed my eyes and welcomed the blissful nothingness darkness had to offer.

I woke up with a start, dragged into the light by a sharp pain in my chest, choking on salt water. Every part of myself that I could feel burned with pain, and I couldn't remember ever feeling more painfully alive than I did now.

I fell back on my back after properly emptying my guts after having emptied my lungs, and realized I could hardly feel any more disgusting than I did right now. To add to everything, my head was somewhere between a pounding pain and having something pressing around it as if trying to make it explode, and the brightness of the light was like rays of sharp pain poking through my eyes all the way through my brain.

I groaned and tried moving, hoping to evade my slowly realizing just how bad I really feeling, but it was a very bad idea. Instead of holding me to the ground so I wouldn't move anymore like I wished it had, the pair of arm that came to my rescue helped me into sitting up, and stayed around me for good measure.

I opened an eye to see who was my hero, to find I was in Jake's embrace, confirming I wasn't completely out of it earlier when I jumped into the water. What had happened since? Where were we? I looked around to find Jared in human form, crouching on the other side of bloody vomit, paying me an undivided attention.

"Are you guys okay?" I croaked at his intention, immediately regretting I had opened my mouth. How I had forgotten my ability, that I knew to do as my heart knew to beat and my lungs to breathe, was beyond me.

"Yep, I told you we'd have your back," he added at my intention with a held look.

A small smile parted my dry lips, almost breaking them in the process.

"You really should've stayed with us," Jared pointed out. "You look terrible."

I let out a bitter laugh that made me hate him a little so much everything hurt.

"Have you seen the place yet?" Jared asked me.

I frowned at his question and painfully looked around. _This isn't home_ , I shared mentally to Jacob begrudgingly, the option of speaking through him being less than ideal but much better than actually speaking up again.

"This is the reserve of the Quinault tribe," Jacob informed me, and I could read in his mind all about it -- how they were two tribes descendant of a few costal ones, including the Quileutes, that spread the wolf gene through their reserve, creating a group of wolves with a very different dynamic than the one they knew back at home that was still very similar at its core. 

Jacob frowned, picking up on all the information in my head I had just picked in his.

"How did you -- when did you -- ?" he asked me, unable to finish his questions that would only bring up so many others.

 _It's been five years, Jake. This is not even the tip of the iceberg of the things I've learned to do_.

"Well then, if you guys are good, we should probably get you changed -- especially you, Nessie, so you don't catch a cold."

I lifted my nose at Jared's comment. I had never gotten sick yet, but I wasn't looking forward to properly testing the theory, and even with Jake's heat enveloping me my soaked clothes kept me frozen to the bone. I made a point to let Jacob know I was ignoring his remark on how close to vampire cold I was as he helped me up. Seeing I could hardly stand, he picked me up in his arms like a princess, and found myself half-heartedly wishing Jared was the one to carry back to wherever it was we were going that Jacob was pointedly ignoring 'in case I caught a fright', indicated his mind. _If anyone tries anything funny I'm leaving this place with Jared_ , I warned Jacob, remembering the wolf that tried to turn me into dog chow. If any was to eat me, it might as well be someone from Sam's pack. Or Seth...

I pointedly tried to repress the images of the night I had spent with Seth before they came to mind clearly enough for Jake to pick up on, and had a feeling I wasn't quite fast enough when I caught a glimpse of where we were going. The council of sorts of this weird wolf packs arrangement it seemed.

"Stop poking, Ness," Jake warned me, sounding tired. _I'm pretty sure this poking thing works both way_ , he thought at my intention, satisfied when I picked it up. "You'll know when we get there."


End file.
